Waiting and Needing
by lovestory219
Summary: what happen after season 3 final*** I'm not the best at summarys


Sarah sat there in their bedroom after everyone had gone home from the dinner/wake for Stephen J. Bartowski. Sarah sat there alone at 3:30 in the morning. Where Chuck was she didn't know, all he said was that he needed to be alone and she let him. She let him because she know's Chuck Bartowski and when Chuck Bartowski wanted to be alone, it meant one of two things, one that he was up to something that he thought was life threating and didn't want her to involed or two that he really just needed to be alone. She understood he's need to be alone, he just watched his father get shot and killed. He needs time to regroup. What Sarah didn't understand was Chuck not telling her things. Not telling her that he was in fact dieing from the intersect, or that he dreamt Shaw alive. Did he not trust her? Love her enough to tell her everything? Sarah just didn't understand. So she waiting, waiting for the one man that she has ever truely loved to come back to their home. Back to didn't have to wait long, for a noise pulled her out of her thoughts, Chuck was climbing in to the window.

"hey" Sarah said quietly. This noise must have startled him because he jumped little at the sound of her voice.

"oh hey I didn't wake you did I?" looking down at her from where he was standing by the window, as if he wanted to make a quick get away. But as he was asking the question Sarah made a quick walk to the window, shuting and locking it.

" I wasn't sleeping in the first place Chuck." This is when she finally looked at him. He looked broken,hurt but at the sametime more at peace then she's seen him in the last few weeks.

" you didn't have to say up and wait for me"

"yes I did."

"no really you didn't, you need some sleep sarah.." Chuck wouldn't look her in the eye, she new something was different, something was wrong. He was holding out on her again. She let out a long sigh

"I just had to know you were safely home" She said finally

"well I did" still looking anywhere but at her.

"Chuck.." she paused for a moment "Chuck look at me" Sarah put her hands on both sides of his face forcing him to look at her

"Sarah..." He said so quietly that if she wasn't standing right infront of him, she would have heard him."Sarah, Im sorry for not telling you about what the Doctor said"

"It hurt Chuck... having to find out you're boyfriends dieing by the man who tried to kill you, why didn't you just tell me? we could have worked it out instead you lied? why?" She knew the pain in her voice would not pass Chucks notice

"Sarah I..." He voice craking like he was on the verge of tears, he had his hands on her waist at this time pulling her as close to him as he could get and before she knew what was happening his lips were on hers in a desperate kiss. She felt everything he was feeling, the anger at Shaw for killing his father, the releaf of having not to lie to ellie anymore, the hurt and pain of losing is father after just getting him back and then the guilt for not telling her about his enviable death without the Govner. Sarah pulled away fast then she would have liked in any other time then now. But right now, in this moment she needed him to tell her why he didn't say anything, she needed to reasure herself that _Her Chuck _wasn't changing and becoming less trust worthly of her.

"Chuck I need...I need you to tell me why you didn't tell me, why you kept the fact that you were dieing to youself" She's looking right into his eyes begging him, to stop this hurt she been feeling since she found out about him lieing.  
Chuck didn't say anything for a few minutes. Sarah walked away from him, and ended up sitting on the bed again waiting for Chuck for the second time that night. After what felt like hours Sarah felt Chuck move so that he was standing infront of her, but she didn't look up at him. She kept her eyes on her hands.  
That was until she felt strong fingers on her chin, Chuck was eye level now nealing infront of her, looking right into her eyes with those same pained eyes as before.

"you told me you loved me" was the first thing out of his mouth.

" and I do Chuck but what does tha..."

"let me finish before you say anything... let me get this off my chest." he said with a long sigh "ok" barely above a whisper "you said you loved me and that you saw US in you're future and that was the greatest thing I've ever heard, I had to be the happest man alive in that moment, but then I realised I couldn't give you that future, I didn't even no if I was going to live into next month..." Chuck stopped at that for a few moments " and it nealy killed me right then and there, how was I suppost to tell you that, that future that you saw was never going to happen?, how was I was...am kinda still dieing?" She has tears in her eyes now that are about to give out and flow down her cheek but Chuck whips them away before they have a chance to fall."I Love You to much to have you go through that, this was my burden to bare I needed to find a way to fix it or just give up, and I was just about to give up before my father came back... he fixed me as best he could." Chuck stopped talking for a few more minutes.  
Sarah didn't really understand what he was saying, he didn't tell her to protect her? from him? Her thoughts where lost though because Chuck said something else

"Thats not the only reason I didn't tell you Sarah"

**I'll be putting the next one up soon, I hope you liked it!**


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